Rapture Denied.

John was at work the other day, just sitting at his desk minding his business when something extraordinary happened. A voice from high, but low in pitch, came ringing down at John, "John, if you don't quit making trivial jokes about me, I will do more than smite you, I will personally kick your rump into a tree stump." Now, John looked around, but none of his coworkers seemed to notice this voice. John whispered, "I'm sorry, who is this?" The voice said, "You damn well know who I am." John looked around again, people were working, sleeping, picking their noses, but no one seemed to hear or mind the rich, sonorous voice coming from high.

Now, as one can imagine, John was becoming a little frightened. He thought to himself, "I'll take an early lunch, maybe I need fresh air." Looking around sheepishly, John picked himself slowly out of the chair. He brushed his hands off on his pants and let out a little sigh, "this is it. I just need a break." Suddenly! From above an enormous porcelain white hand came down, thrusting John back into his chair; the voice boomed, "John!" The hand curled into a fist before John, and John cowered back into his chair covering his eyes. When he gained the courage to peek, the hand was before him, extending one enormous middle finger in his direction. The hand then relaxed, patted John softly on the head, and went back heavenward, as the voice spoke softly, "You didn't need a rest, John, you needed to stop pissing me off. Now, get back to work."

John got back to work, never again to blaspheme any entity or being... for now....