Ode to John

John, O John,

You plague my dreams

with churlish machinations

and devilish schemes

.

John, O John

You are such a fright

when the sun goes down

I light a nightlight

.

John, O John

when will you learn?

To torture brings peace

only in the urn

.

John, O John

You ugly mutt

I'll piss in your closet

and punch your gut

.

-by The World

John and jerk start with the same letter...

John wanted me to inform you that I know the difference between the word "subtly" and "subtlety," which I do. I apologize for my one spelling error in our conversation, which I did not alter to keep things truthful. The mistake was made out of indignation and rage. I apologize to you, dear readers, since you were the cause of neither of these emotions.

A Recent Conversation with the Academic: John Post aka "lunchpack" Post

"lunchpack": dont be stupid

I'M with stupid!

me: went in dumb come out dumb too

"lunchpack": crumb bum

me: Hey, I'm John, I hate everything

Get outta my way old lady

you bitch

I'm walking here

I'm John

"lunchpack": Hey, I'm Owen, I'm willingly naive about everything

I sniff flowers for fun

Hurray what a romantic life we lead

Yay what a pretty day!

you bitch!

me: me?

"lunchpack": BLISSFUL!

the blissful bluffer

blubber butt

barneby

me: I'll slap you generations back, so your granpappy in the civil war feels it

"lunchpack": my granpappy was not in the civil war

you dolt

count!

learn how to count

me: generations

do I have to say

great great great great

or can't that be implied by generations

"lunchpack": i was in the civil war

me: learn some subtly

"lunchpack": che guevara died in bolivia

he was in the angolan civil war

me: I'll send you home on bloody stumps

"lunchpack": stumbles

me: Why don't I just get married and have a child already?

That would make things far more certain.

"lunchpack": i dont know, why not

the world is a nasty place

me: Maybe I'll just have multiple kids and make my life goal skirting child support

"lunchpack": haha

thats what wilt chamberlain did

if its good enough for wilt the stilt, its good enough for me

BAHAHA

"lunchpack"'s new status message - 1,000 kids and skirting child support: if its good enough for Wilt the Stilt, its good enough for me! 1:27 PM

me: haha okay fine

"lunchpack": he scored a 100 points

but he had more children than that!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060616100358AAImTYl