John made the cutest little blog about himself. It's filled with self-inflating lies about his chess prowess, and how he will cook you dinner, which he definitely won't do. No, he'll bring out carrots and hummus and eat in front of you until you ask if you can have one, and then he'll look at you like you asked if you could shove the carrot up his ass.
It also appears that John is staking the claim that he invented the United States of America, or at the very least, Google Maps. I don't think he invented or charted either of these things.
Oh well, you can see John's Blog HERE
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Can you beat John Post at chess?
Is this even a question worth asking? Last time I played chess with him, he pleaded with me, "just kill me now." I'm no chess expert either. I can beat Microsoft chess on level 2, maybe level 3, but I could also beat John Post at chess no problem. I'd stake the claim that a newborn child could beat John Post at chess, granted you'd have to help the child move the pieces since their motor skills are terribly underdeveloped.
Which leads me to wonder. Should John Post be doing ordinary everyday things which seem innocuous enough, but possess real dangers when taken into the hands of an adult whose learning and mobile capabilities are less than the average bear (or newborn child). Take driving a car for instance: seems safe enough. But John gets distracted very easily and he might take a look at himself in the rear view mirror and become confused as to how there is a double of him, causing a terrible traffic wreck killing hordes of innocent people, puppies, and roses along the way. Worst of all, he'd walk away from the crash unscathed looking for his double like a moron, probably getting in another car causing a tautology of pain and suffering.
Or, take eating in a restaurant. Now this truly seems like something he should be capable of. In fact, newborn children eat at restaurants and I'm sure a bear could if we stopped the damn bear segregation movement (this is the 21st Century people.) But John, man, if you get him in a restaurant, who knows what would go wrong! Whatever could go wrong, I'm sure it would end with the kitchen on fire, John telling some stupid joke about chicken soup, the waiter unconscious with his head up your date's skirt, and the Chef screaming, "Holy God! Sweet God! It burns all the way down!"
Anyway, let's just say, I beat John at chess.
Which leads me to wonder. Should John Post be doing ordinary everyday things which seem innocuous enough, but possess real dangers when taken into the hands of an adult whose learning and mobile capabilities are less than the average bear (or newborn child). Take driving a car for instance: seems safe enough. But John gets distracted very easily and he might take a look at himself in the rear view mirror and become confused as to how there is a double of him, causing a terrible traffic wreck killing hordes of innocent people, puppies, and roses along the way. Worst of all, he'd walk away from the crash unscathed looking for his double like a moron, probably getting in another car causing a tautology of pain and suffering.
Or, take eating in a restaurant. Now this truly seems like something he should be capable of. In fact, newborn children eat at restaurants and I'm sure a bear could if we stopped the damn bear segregation movement (this is the 21st Century people.) But John, man, if you get him in a restaurant, who knows what would go wrong! Whatever could go wrong, I'm sure it would end with the kitchen on fire, John telling some stupid joke about chicken soup, the waiter unconscious with his head up your date's skirt, and the Chef screaming, "Holy God! Sweet God! It burns all the way down!"
Anyway, let's just say, I beat John at chess.
John's Winter Poem
It's snowing! It's snowing!
John Post is crying!
He weeps just like a little child
who truly needs some chiding.
John Post is crying!
He weeps just like a little child
who truly needs some chiding.
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